Lisa's Revenge
by Bobthemasta
Summary: After Leni accidentally destroys Lisa's time machine, Lisa tries to get her revenge by killing her. I've been waiting to make a Loud House fanfic for months, so enjoy.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

Lisa's Revenge

Chapter One: The Beginning

This is my first loud house fanfic so I dunno, just read this.

I swear, what the actual fuck am I doing with my life?

It was dinner at the Loud house. It was in the middle of summer and the Louds were

fighting like Super Smash Bros. to get dinner first. Kinda like people on Youtube. But

there was one sister that didn't do jack shit for dinner, and that was Lisa. She was

kinda making a scientific discovery. "Just one more drop of acidic sodium Plebthrock-

iumiscidalAfricanAmericanionNigrum and the chrono-mecha-wormhole machine will

be finished! Finally, being a miniscule four-year old inside a house where the average

volume level is 260 decibels, nobody in the brilliant scientific community has gotten

the opportunity to witness my inventive genius!" said Lisa. Meanwhile at the dinner

table Lisa was nowhere. "We can't start dinner until Lisa's here. We're suddenly

doing it this way because this is the Christian way. We need to honor Jesus and his

sacrifices and we can't do that without her." said Rita. "Your mother's right, kids.

With Trump being president, we can't take any chances. Leni, go get Lisa." said

Lynn Sr. "This is literally the worst thing ever. Apparently it's disrespectful to text your

boyfriend at the dinner table because we're apparently Christian now. Fuck Trump."

said Lori. "WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE! This is a holy sacred place. Back when Jesus

was alive, swearing was a sin. It's a sign of Satanism and betrayal of the Holy Empire.

When you die, Satan will have a nice place for you in the fiery depths of hell." said Rita.

"Since when did our parents become Christians?" said Luna. Leni went upstairs and

to Lisa and Lily's room. "Lisa, you need to, like, go get to dinner. Mom and Dad are

waiting for you. It's religious or something." said Leni. "Hell fucking no! I mean, no.

I am on the verge of a scientific discovery! The whole world can benefit from this! No,

those Christian pieces of shit can go fuck themselves." said Lisa. "WATCH YOUR

LANGUAGE! Oh, wait, is that a red button? I, like, LOVE red buttons!" said Leni.

"NO!" screamed Lisa as Leni pressed the button. "This machine will self destruct

in five seconds. Five, four, three, two, one." said the machine. Then it exploded into

a billion pieces, creating a giant hole in the wall. Lisa got a really shocked look on her

face. Then she slowly turned really, REALLY MAD! She was clenching her fists so hard,

her fingernails created cuts in her palms. "You, I can't freaking believe!" said Lisa really

angrily. "I'm like so, so, sorry! I didn't mean to!" said Leni. "Shut the fuck up! You are a

motherfucking cocksucking bitchfucking whore! I worked my WHOLE FUCKING LIFE

MAKING THAT MOTHERFUCKING MACHINE! I HAD THAT IDEA WHEN I WAS

ONLY 6 MONTHS OLD! ONLY MOTHERFUCKING SIX! SIX! MONTHS!

AND YOU FUCKING DESTROYED IT! YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARD IF YOU

CAN BE SO FUCKING STUPID AS TO FUCKING DO THAT! FUCK! FUCK YOU!

LENI MOTHERFUCKING LOUD! FUCK ASS SHIT NIGGER JEW FAG BITCH CUNT

DICK COCK FAGGOT NIGGER! THAT FUCKING ABRAHAM FREED THE FUCKING

SLAVES! I WANT SLAVERY BACK! IT MAKES EVERYTHING FUCKING EASIER!

FUCK LINCOLN! I mean Abraham Lincoln, not Lincoln Loud, BUT FUCK THAT WHITE

BASTARD! HE'S A DISGRACE TO WHITES EVERYWHERE! AND YOU, LENI LOUD,

ARE MOTHERFUCKING WORSE THAN HIM! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKK

YOU! I mean, get the heck out, Leni. You destroyed my machine! Now get out."

said Lisa. "Oh crap, I need some water." said Lisa. Leni fell down to the floor and started

crying and screaming like a baby. "WAHHHHH! MOMMY! DADDY! LISA YELLED AT

ME! WAHHHHHHHH! I WANT MY BOTTLE!" said Leni as she cried and screamed.

"Holy fucking shit, this is fucking comedy gold right here!" said Lisa. She pulled out a camera

and videotaped the entire thing. "Oh my god, when are those two getting back? My butt is

itching like no tomorrow! Jesus Christ!" said Lynn. "How dare you use the name of the Holy

Lord in vain!? The power of Christ compels you! Die! Rot in hell, you Satanic sack of bull!"

said Lynn Sr. as he formed a cross with his fingers. Then an explosion was heard. Lynn Sr. was

crying for his life and praying for Jesus to bring salvation. "Seriously, this is literally pathetic. Get

the others, because we're checking this crap out." said Lori to the older sisters at the grownup

table. The sisters and Lincoln went to Lisa's room and found Leni crying on the ground and Lisa

videotaping it. There was also a giant hole in the wall. But nobody cares about that. "LISA WHAT

THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW!?" screamed Lola.

To Be Continued.

I really don't fucking know why the parents are Christian, I guess because they didn't do anything

on their own. Really, it's because being Christian means they are strict and abusive, like Trump

was to the American country. Seriously, fuck Donald Trump. 


	2. Chapter 2: Lisa Gets Grounded

Chapter 2: Lisa Gets Grounded

"Uh... FUCK! Fucking bullfuck! I didn't do shit! Uh... Leni was fucking suicidal!

She uh.. tried to kill herself! I saved her just in time by yelling at her to not kill

herself." said Lisa. "Nice fucking try. I know you're just trying to cover your ass

here, but it won't fucking work. It may work on Mom and Dad, but it ain't got shit

on me, bitch." said Lori. "Lisa yelled at me! She cursed and said that I was, like,

worse than some guy who freed the slaves because Lisa said that slavery makes

her life easier! WAHHHH! I want my bottle!" said Leni. Lily gave Leni her own

bottle. "LILY! GROSS!" yelled Leni. Lola ran downstairs to tell the parents. "Lisa

fucking screamed at Leni and told her that slavery was a good thing and that Leni

was retarded and called her a nigger, fag, Jew, whore, bitch, and a motherfucking

cocksucker because Leni destroyed her fucking time machine." said Lola. "WHAT

THE FUCK!? LISA!" said Lynn Sr. He went into the garage and got his

whip. "Whoa, where the fuck did you get a whip from?" said Lola. "I use it to beat

the slaves when they don't work their black asses off, bitch." said Lynn Sr. "Uh,

you shouldn't have told Lola that. Seriously, you're a fucking dumbass." said Rita.

"What the fuck ever, I'm gonna fucking beat Lisa's fucking bitch whore ass. That

sack of fucking shit is gonna fucking see what slaves have to go through! Fuck!"

said Lynn Sr. as he smiled like Hitler when he got the idea to kill 6 million Jews.

The three of them entered the room. Lynn Sr. got out his whip and whipped Rita.

"What the fuck!?" said Rita. "Sorry, I'm just so fucking used to that shit." he said.

"What's the problem? Nothing happened here." said Lisa. "Lola told us that Lisa

called Leni derogatory slurs and said that slavery was good. I got out my whip

to beat some 4-year old ass. Now give me dat bitch so I can go all nigger-style

on your ass!" said Lynn Sr. as he went up to Lisa. Rita went and picked up Lisa

and spanked her real hard on her ass. The sisters and Lincoln winced as Lisa

was brutally beaten. Then Lynn Sr. whipped Lisa in the face until she had to go

to the hospital due to blood loss. "Now, let's pray to Jesus for our Christian feast."

said Rita. They went downstairs and to their tables. "May our Holy Lord Jesus

and our almighty Creator God bless us with their- HOLY SHIT NIGGA!" said Lynn Sr.

as he was interrupted by a noise. He went into his bedroom. He pressed a secret

button on the wall, revealing an elevator. He went into the elevator and into an

underground chamber. Lynn Sr. pressed another button, flipping the wall sideways

and revealing a secret underground plantation. The slaves he used were plucking

the marijuana plants from their roots. "Imma beat the nigger that caused that bull

from down here. Which one of you niggers was it?" said Lynn Sr. "Nigga, chill yo!

We're chill and 420 blazin' in da hood, mah nigga!" said one of the slaves. Lynn Sr.

got out his whip and beat all of the slaves into bloody messes. He went back up

and into the dining room. "The slaves were causing a ruckus. Hopefully those fags

will shut the fuck up so I can enjoy my fucking cheap ass meal." said Lynn Sr. "Shh!

Ix-nay on-way he-tay aves-slay." said Rita. At the fucking kiddie ass table Lincoln and

his sisters were discussing what their dad could have left for. "Maybe it could be the

plumbing. You know, something had to happen to all that gunk we flushed down the

toilet. I would love to see it all come back up. That would be neat!" said Lana. "Heck

no, that's freaking disgusting!" said Lola. "I've heard that this house was home to

another family with 11 kids." said Lucy. "Wait, what kids? How did they leave?" said

Lana. "They were murdered by a psychotic clown. I can still hear their tortured

screams." said Lucy. "That's some fucked-up shit right there. I'm never going to

Mcdonalds again. Fucking clowns." said Lincoln. At the grownup table, it was really

silent. Like, it was so quiet that you could hear the dying moans of the house's

many murder victims in the past, being forced to live underneath the house for all

eternity, suffering a fate worse than death. "You know, maybe there could be slaves.

Maybe our dad could be an owner of an underground plantation where he grows weed

and sells it to hobos on the street to get rich off of pot." said Lynn. "That's sick, bro.

If our parents are into slavery, how can they dodge the cops for so long?" said Luna.

"Yeah, that's right. Back when I was 6, I literally had nightmares because there were

groans and moans from downstairs. Dad told me it was my imagination, but there had

to be something else at work here." said Lori. "SHUT THE FUCK UP! Can't we just

eat our Christian dinner in peace? Our lord, Jesus, would be ashamed at the way we

spread rumors and gossip about what happens downstairs. We need to be respectful

of what others think." said Lynn Sr. After eating dinner, the Louds went to the hospital.

"Me and your father are going to have a talk with Lisa. If any of you act up in the car,

you'll be eating day-old Mcdonalds for the rest of your lives." said Rita. They went to

Lisa's room. "Who the fuck? Shit! It's fucking you!" said Lisa. "Bitch, we just wanted to

say that you're grounded for 2 months, 3 weeks, a day, 17 hours, 51 minutes, and 59

seconds. You know better than to yell at your sister. Also you'll be denied food and water

for a month. Go to your room." said Lynn Sr. "I'm in the fucking hospital." said Lisa. "Well

we'll just take you to your room. Come the fuck on." said Rita. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUUUUUCK!" screamed Lisa.

To Be Continued 


	3. Chapter 3: Lisa Gets Revenge

Chapter 3: Lisa Gets Revenge

"Fuck my fucking life! I want to fucking kill myself! Those gay fags at

the hospital need a fucking life! I don't even fucking know why people

pay others to work anymore when slavery works fine! Fuck! Fuck! Gay

niggers! Ass! Shit! Oh my god, I got an awesome idea! I can get

my revenge on Leni for ruining my life. But how? Is the question. Well...

OH MY GOD! Why didn't I think of this before!?" said Lisa. She

smiled like Donald Trump when he entered the 2016 election. "I have the

most awesome idea ever! The ultimate revenge! I'll kill Leni! When she

dies, I can finally bring closure on this hell. Yes! I can finally be rid of

that whore! Just fill her head up with lead. That rhymed. But, YES!

FINALLY! No longer can I be plagued with that annoying nonsense

that is supposed to be the teenage girl cliche! No longer do I have to

put up with Nick having retarded stupid characters in their shows! No

longer do I have to put up with 'OMG! Like, I am SO totes excited to,

like, go to, the, like mall, and paint my, like, fingernails, a, like, girly color,

like, pink, or, like something! That will literally like, totes impress a ton of

hot guys! Like, like, like!' That's the most fucking awful annoying trope

in TV and shit! Fuck that cliche! I am so fucking tired of them trying to look

beautiful and shit. News flash! Nobody FUCKING CARES! And I'm not a guy,

but I think it's really gay to be into pink shit. If you're a guy, if people see

you hanging out with a girly girl who talks in phone language and talks about

what girl likes what guy, what dress she wants to wear, and shit like that,

even if she's supposed to be your girlfriend, everybody will think you're gay!

And the most important part of all, NOBODY IN THE FUCKING REAL WORLD

IS AS FUCKING NICE AS YOU, LENI! Seriously, in the REAL WORLD, where

you actually have to EARN respect, not everything is all MY LITTLE PONY

SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS FRIENDSHIP, LOVE AND HAPPINESS EVERYWEAR!

People die in the fucking real world! You're fucking 16, now ACT SOMEWHAT

LIKE A MATURING WOMAN! SERIOUSLY! Just go fucking try this. Go up to

a homeless guy and offer him money. Just fucking try. What Leni would think

would happen is that he'll take it, and feel good about it, and the two of you

would be friends, and he will get a new house and have a big happy family and

live happily ever after. What everybody ELSE would think is that when you

bring out that dollar, the homeless guy will take it. Then he'll steal your wallet or

purse or whatever and try to get more cash. You'll be forced to kick his ass, and

whatever money he gets, he'll spend it on beer. YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT!

GROW UP, LENI! NOBODY ACTS LIKE THIS! THE REAL WORLD IS FUCKING

TOUGH! NOBODY IS NICE! PEOPLE WHO TRY TO BE NICE GET THEIR ASSES

TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF AND END UP GETTING SCAMMED, ROBBED, AND END UP

HOMELESS ON THE STREETS! After all of that, you'll FINALLY understand the

homeless dilemma, since you'll be the one trying to get cash. AND WHEN YOU

END UP WITH A BLACK EYE BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT AND TRY TO

STEAL CASH THEN! ONLY FUCKING THEN! DO YOU REALIZE! WHY YOU

CAN'T BE NICE! FUCK! YOU! LENI! LOUD! 'OMG, like, calm down,

like, wanna go to, like, the spa with me, like, you really could, like, use a

treatment, like, like, like, and impress cute boys, like, like, likelikelike.' SHUT UP!

THERE'S A FUCKING REASON WHY NOBODY LIKES TEENAGE GIRLS! THEY

ARE THE MOST FUCKING ANNOYING THINGS IN THE FUCKING WORLD!

But...

I fucking digress.

Holy shit, it felt so fucking good to get all of that off my fucking chest.

Leni Loud, if you're listening through the cardboard walls me ranting about

how much I hate you, go hump a cactus and die." said Lisa. In her room,

Leni was crying on her bed. "What's the point in living anymore if all I do

is cause my sisters pain? There's no point in going on. I just need to end

it all." said Leni very depressingly. Leni went into the kitchen. She looked

into the cleaning supplies and found some Clorox bleach. Leni poured a cup

of some of that tasty bleach. Leni was about to drink it when Lori knocked

it out of her hand. "LENI WHAT THE FUCK!? Are you fucking

insane?! I can't fucking believe that you're trying to kill yourself!"

said Lori. "There's no reason to live anymore. Lisa showed me that all I do

is make everyone's lives worse. My existence is a plague on everyone.

Killing myself would do everybody a favor. I would rather be dead than see

everyone else suffer because of me." said Leni. "Okay, fine. Lincoln's playing

Mario Maker, studies show it's twice as addictive as meth. If you want in on

some of that action, go up to Lincoln's room." said Lori. "Video games rot your

brain, you said that yourself!" said Leni. "Well, you want to die, so that'll help.

With a rotten brain, you're gonna lose consciousness and eventually die." said

Lori. "Okay, that's so, like, a good idea! Thanks Lori!" said Leni. "Fucking retard."

said Lori. Leni went up to Lincoln's room next. What she saw was really shocking.

"LINKY! What are you doing!?" said Leni.

To Be Continued 


	4. Chapter 4: Lincoln the Game Master

Chapter 4: Lincoln The Level Master

Leni saw Lincoln hunched over, moving his right hand up and down. He

had his head turned towards the ceiling and looked like he was being

pleasured. "Oh! I'm sorry to interrupt you, it looks like you're busy..."

said Leni. Lincoln turned around. "What, I wasn't really doing anything.

I was shaking this soda so I can get the maximum fizz to boost my

energy for my Mario Maker marathon. There was a fly buzzing around,

so I had to look up to find it. I kept my eyes open to see where it went.

That wasn't an orgasm or anything." said Lincoln. "Oh, I wanted to play

Mario Maker with you. Lori says video games, like, rot your brain, so I

wanted to play some Mario so, like, I can kill myself." said Leni. "Okay, so

you have to make levels in this game. It's real easy. Here, let's start with

this." said Lincoln. Unknown to them, Lisa followed Leni into Lincoln's room

and was eavesdropping on their conversation. "Oh, so that's what she's

playing now. I got a perfect idea to kill her." said Lisa. "I'm going to go

underground and find the underground electrical wires. I'll rewire them all

to Lincoln's room, and the electrical energy provided by the generator will

be so great, Lincoln's game will send powerful bolts of electricity through

the Gamepad and will hopefully give Leni an electric shock! Shocking, am I

right?" said Lisa. "That sucked. I guess you can say it wasn't really punny."

said Luan who was actually listening in on Lisa's plan. "OH, COME ON!

Everybody and their fucking mothers has done that pun! Fuck off, Luan.

Your puns suck ass." said Lisa. Luan went away and then Lisa started to

enact her awesome plan. "I've seen Dad use the secret elevator to the

basement. I'll just go there." said Lisa. Lisa pressed the button and went

in the elevator. Then she pressed the button to move the wall. "Dang! I

never knew that Dad was growing marijuana!" said Lisa. "Finally! We're

free! Freedom at last!" said one of the slaves. "Shut your nigger ass up!"

said Lisa. She closed the wall and went to the underground circuit room.

"Well, this looks interesting. I'll just take that red wire." said Lisa. She

disconnected the red wire and then the blue one. Then she rewired all

the other ones to the red wire. Lisa then did alternating colors to focus

the electrical energy by attaching the red wire to the blue one and then

attaching the blue one to Lincoln's room's wire. "That should work." said

Lisa. Well, let's see what happens. In Lincoln's room, Leni was finally

getting the hang of how to make a level. She made a really simple level.

"You got it, Leni. Just keep practicing and you might be a true level maker.

I mean, you're already good at designing clothes, Mario levels aren't that

far off." said Lincoln. "Thanks Linky. I never knew that games could be fun."

said Leni. Just about then, Lisa rewired the wires. The TV screen violently

flashed bright colors, and then played a screeching sound, and then an

alarm went off. The TV screen then displayed the most frightening images ever

seen by human eyes. Lincoln and Leni were traumatized for life as images

of truly evil acts were displayed on TV. Their lives would always have

something missing from them afterwards. And then the Wii U started hovering

in the air. It shot a beam of light out the game drive and then fell back

down. The game started up again. But this time, Mario Maker was in REAL

LIFE! No, I'm not kidding. Lisa's meddling with the power made Mario Maker

in real life. "Sweet mother of god! Holy shit! This is lit as all hell! Fuck yes!

Mario Maker in REAL LIFE! OH MY GOD!" said Lincoln. He put an invisible

block in Lynn and Lucy's room so when Lynn did jumping jacks, she hit the

invisible block. "What was that all about? A Mario block? Weird." said Lynn.

"Oh my god, that was awesome! I wonder what else we can do?" said

Lincoln. He conjured up a Koopa in Lola's room. "Ahh, it's so refreshing to

have something pleasant to look at." said Lola as she looked in her

mirror. All of a sudden, the Koopa was behind her. "AHHHH! What is that

thing!?" said Lola. "I'll save you, peachy Princess!" said Lana who

was dressed as Mario. Lana jumped on top of the Koopa and kicked its

shell out the window. "That thing was GROSS! Whatever, looks like I

lost my appetite." said Lola as she went back to looking at herself.

In the parents' bedroom, Lynn Sr. was taking off his clothes in front of

Rita. "I wanna have a twelfth child, how does that sound? Should we name

her Rita Jr.? Or if it's a guy, how about Jeff." said Lynn Sr. "That's gay as all

hell, fag! Go fuck someone else! Fuck this shit I'm out!" said Bowser who

was dressed up as Rita. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I was just about to fuck

THAT THING! I want to fucking kill myself! Fuck!" said Lynn Sr. In Luna's

bedroom, Luna was feeling uninspired and bored. "Ugh! Nothing's coming

at me! I need some, some inspiration." said Luna. Lincoln spawned some

note blocks and did a rock version of We Are Number One. "What is that?

You want to challenge me? Oh, fine then! Bring it on, dude!" said Luna.

She played so loud, so ear-blastingly loud, that she actually went sorta

deaf. "Heh heh heh! Oh my god! That's so freaking funny! I can't believe

Luna would do that to herself!" said Lincoln. With Lucy, she went into

the dark forest for inspiration. Lincoln spawned some Boos in the forest.

The Boos tried to scare Lucy. "Heh, dude, it's just a girl. We got this.

This is an easy scare." the Boo whispered to the other. "Yeah, I know, right?"

said the other. They went behind Lucy, and she turned around. "OH HOLY

JESUS!" said the Boo. "Why are you scared?" said Lucy. "This is just how I

normally look." she said. "Well, uh... I guess we look like cartoon ghosts."

said the other Boo. "I would like to know how you got there." said Lucy.

"What do you mean there?" said the Boo. "You know, there, trapped in

eternal darkness." said Lucy. "I killed myself. You know, bullet in the head.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I didn't want to live." said the Boo. "I was

shot because I was Jewish in my human life." said the other one. "So tragic.

I'm feeling inspired... Hmm..." said Lucy. "Let's get the fuck away. This

bitch is scary as shit." said the Boo. "OH MY GOD! SO FUCKING FUNNY!

I can't fucking believe those Boos are scared of Lucy! Fucking shit!" said

Lincoln. "I don't know how this happened, but isn't that cruel to mess with

your sisters' lives? That seems mean." said Leni. "Oh, I mean, fine. If it

bothers you THAT much, I guess I can go ahead and just play normally."

said Lincoln. Lisa was watching them play. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

THAT FUCKING FAILED! Oh my god, how the fuck did that happen!?

Fuck! I'll have to go with Plan B!" said Lisa.

To Be Continued. 


	5. Chapter 5: The Master Plan

Chapter 5: The Master Plan

Okay, so it looks like I got a review. Well, for any of you who read reviews

before reading a fanfic, there's really no point in continuing this. But if this

sort of fanfic appeals to you, then whatever. I've been wanting to write

this chapter for a long time.

"I guess I gotta do plan B. Since I can't kill Leni, maybe I can get someone

else to do it. I've been looking for the perfect candidate to kill her, and I

can say that I've found him. He's bad, badass, rich, straight, and is known

for killing 6 million Jews. I've repaired my time machine so I can finally bring

this badass over here!" Lisa set the portal to the World War II time period.

Hitler came out of the portal. "Fucking shit nigger! Why do these retarded

slaves have to fuck up everything!?" said Hitler. "Yo, Hitler, mah nigga!"

said Lisa. "What da fuck!? This isn't the fucking bunker! And the awesome

tech and shit looks too futuristic." said Hitler. "It's motherfucking 2017. Get

your ass over here." said Lisa. "Hell fucking no! I am NOT fucking listening

to a bitchy four year old! Get the fuck over here!" Hitler said as he pulled

out a pistol from his pocket. "If you fucking dare, I'mma shoot you in da

head, bitch. Now, gimme the coordinates." said Hitler. "What coordinates?"

said Lisa. "You fucking know, coordinates for a new bunker. I need to take

over Germany again so I can go back to killing Jews." said Hitler. "A bunker?

Okay, you don't need to build one. My gay dad built an underground weed

plantation for his niggers. If you take the secret elevator, you can get there."

said Lisa. "Oh fucking shit! Someone's at the door! I'mma jump out the

window, so get that shit together." said Hitler. He jumped out the window.

Then Lynn Sr. busted the door open. "Are you on the phone? I heard you

talking to somebody." he said. "Uh... I was talking to God. I was praying and

shit." said Lisa. "Oh, finally! Now that my fellow Christian homie is one of my

children, I can finally get you to go to church!" said Lynn Sr. "The fuck? Church?"

said Lisa. "We're going to sign up you and your siblings for church." said

Lynn Sr. At the church, the Louds were bored as hell. "Where's Lisa? I haven't

seen her all day." said Lana. Meanwhile, Lisa was in her bedroom. "Fuck

church. Those Christian motherfuckers can go fuck themselves. Hitler! My gay

faggoty family is fucking gone!" said Lisa. Hitler came out and Lisa took him

into the basement. Lisa went back upstairs. "Whoa, nigga! This basement is

sexy as fuck! What's this fucking button do?" said Hitler. He pressed the button

and it flipped the wall. When Hitler saw the slaves, he grabbed a whip on the

ground. "Which one of you niggers wants to get beat first? Imma whip your

black asses like weed burns on your lips from 420 blazin some kush yo!" said

Hitler. He whipped the slaves until all of them were purple and bloody all over.

Then Hitler went on a site called NaziSoldiersForHire dot com. He hired a few

awesome soldiers. "Mein Fuhrer, what are we gonna now, nigga?" said Jeff, one

of the sexy soldiers. "Nigga, I got a few tanks from Trump. This Leni girl is

apparently at church. We can blast the church and then kill that girl." said Hitler.

"How do you know about some girl? It sounds like she's one of dem real hot

types. Mmm, sounds sexy as hell." said Jeff. "I was told by a 4-year old that this

girl needs to die. If I kill her, she'll pay me some good cash, yo." said Hitler. "Seems

legit." said Jeff. Jeff and the other Nazi soldiers did the Hitler salute and got into

the stolen tanks. They used a secret exit to get out, and headed for the church.

"News flash! Tanks with swastikas spray painted on them are heading for a church.

We're sending in attack helicopters to stop this threat, but for now we need to

pray to Jesus for their safety." said the guy on the news. The tanks busted through

the doors and fired shots. Every single person in the church was killed by Hitler.

"All you guys, go find that Leni girl. When I get her, I'll show her corpse to Lisa and

we'll get rich, yo." said Hitler. But actually, the Louds left half an hour ago. Since

none of the Louds besides Lisa believe in Jesus, the parents thought it was pointless

to have them in church. So they drove the sisters home. "Mein Fuhrer, there's no body

that matches the description of that girl. She must not be here." said Jeff. "FUCK!

DICK! ASS! NIGGER! JEW! THAT'S GAY AS HELL! I FUCKING NEED WEED! NIGGA!"

said Hitler. "We're so, like, going to go to the mall, babe!" said one of the Nazi soldiers.

"Fag alert!" said Hitler. He shot the soldier in the head because he was gay. "Now, since

I have a file of all the Jewish citizens in America, let's wreck some shit, nigga." Hitler and

his Nazi soldiers raided every Jewish person's house and killed them. About 6666 people

were killed in Royal Woods. "It is a sad day for America. Exactly 666 people were found

dead in the church incident. Then an army of neo-Nazi soldiers invaded Jewish citizens'

houses and proceeded to slaughter about six thousand Jews. Even with the day Trump

became president, at least nobody died that day." said the news guy. "FUCK! Leni's

back from church! Bitch, nigga! Fucking shit!" said Lisa when Leni came home with the

sisters. "Without Leni there, Hitler can't fucking kill her white bitch ass! FUCK!" said Lisa.

When Hitler came back, Lisa screamed. "YOU FUCKING JEW! I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE

THAT YOU CAN'T FUCKING KILL A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL! FUCK YOU, YOU GAY NIGGER!"

said Lisa. "Fuck you, you fucking whore! I tried my fucking hardest, but that hoe was gone

when I got there. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK! I can't fucking believe a fucking 4 YEAR OLD is

going and telling me that I'm doing things wrong! FUCK! I can do shit on my own, bitch!

Men don't need women! Fuck women! Fuck girls! Fuck smartass green shirted 4 year old

girls! Go watch My Little Pony, you retarded gay piece of Jewish shit! Fuck you!" said

Hitler. "Oh my fucking god, that was a fucking awful idea. I can't believe Hitler betrayed me.

FUCK! Now onto Plan C, I guess! Fuck! Ass! Shit! Nigger! FUCK!" said Lisa.

To Be Continued. 


	6. Chapter 6: Cops In The House

Chapter 6: Cops In The House

Things were going as usual. If usual meant Lisa trying to kill Leni. And their

dad using slavery to grow weed. With Rita out trying to get psychological

help because she's thinking about killing herself, Lori was in charge of the

house. It was one of those times where she was extra cranky and didn't

really allow anything since she was like a retarded volcano that could do

eruption and stuff at any moment. But when Lola went to get some water,

she stepped on Lori's shoe. "FUCK! FUCKING SHIT! MY FUCKING FOOT!

FUCK! ASS! SHIT! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" said Lori. "Oh fuck! I'm

fucking screwed up the ass!" said Lola. Lori picked up Lola and beat her

on her ass. She hit her in the face and punched her in the gut. At the end

of their fight, Lola was in a bloody mess on the ground. Lori had blood on

her fingers. And you know what? Lynn Sr. got up from the basement and

saw everything. "Lori Loud! Your ass is fucked! You know better than to

treat your sister like that!" said Lynn Sr. "I'm so sorry! She stepped on my

foot and I had to beat her to teach her a lesson!" said Lori. "Come with me

to my bedroom. I'll teach you how to be a good girl." said Lynn Sr. "FUCK

NO! I'LL BE GOOD! JUST NOT THAT! PLEASE!" said Lori as her dad pulled

her into his bedroom and pinned her on his bed. Leni was left in charge

since she was the second oldest. But since all her sisters thought she was

a pushover, they completely ignored her warnings and caused chaos. Leni

put half of the little sisters into time-out for disobeying her and

disrespecting her, and grounded Lynn, Luan, and Luna for not listening to

her. Then Lincoln went over and said "Bitch, you ain't the boss of us." and

then he socked her in the nose. Leni's nose sprayed blood all over the

floor. "DAD! LINCOLN PUNCHED LENI!" said Lola. But he never heard

her. "Aw, fuck yes! Finally, at least I can get some satisfaction out of seeing

you in pain. Even though I can't kill you, that's so fucking satisfying!" said

Lisa. Then Lynn Sr. came out of his room with Lori. "What happened, Lori?"

said Lincoln. "I really don't fucking want to talk about it. I saw things that

should never be seen by human eyes. It was traumatizing. Please just

leave me alone." said Lori as she went to her room. "Okay, so if you're

wondering what happened, when I said Lori's ass was fucked, I was

meaning that in a literal way." said Lynn Sr. "Wait, so you fucked Lori up

the ass? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! THAT'S FUCKED UP!" said Lincoln.

"Yeah, and I think I came about ten times inside of her. It was better sex

then I ever had with your whore of a mother." said Lynn Sr. Right about

then, the cops came and busted into the house carrying assault rifles.

"Lynn Loud, you're under arrest for rape, pedophilia, incest, child abuse,

slavery, growing an illegal substance, first-degree murder, and posting

racist, homophobic, and anti-Semitic tweets, as well as forcing Christianity

on a group that is not a religion, but just gay, making that homophobic, as

well as really fucking awful. Step away from the kids." said one of the cops.

"OH SHIT NIGGA!" said Lynn Sr. as he ran from the cops into the weed

plantation. "Dude, mah nigga Lynn! That is the gayest name ever, by the

way. But, why is mah nigga running towards the wall?" said Hitler who was

staying in the basement if you remember. "I'm fucking running from the

fucking cops! They don't know this place fucking exists, so I can stay safe

here. I need to close the wall in case they get here." said Lynn Sr.

Unfortunately for him, the cops heard his voice from downstairs and used

radar scanners to find the secret button and the elevator. "OH SHIT! They

found me! Quick, get behind the wall!" said Lynn Sr. Hitler got behind the

wall with the slaves. "Fucking hurry up! I don't want to fucking be with

these niggers!" said Hitler. Lynn Sr. pressed the button and dashed

behind the wall just as it closed. "Is there a way out of here? The fucking

button is behind the wall." said Hitler. "Fuck yes. There's another secret

button over there. The slaves are too retarded to press it." said Lynn Sr.

"Nigga! Please! I ain't retarded, homie!" said a slave. "Nigger, shut your

ass up!" said Lynn Sr. The cops came into the basement. "Nobody's here.

Maybe we should check the electrical room." said the cop. They went into

the electrical room and found a door labeled DO NOT ENTER. "Let's go in."

said one of the cops. They went in. It had a giant electrical generator in

it. The room was about fifty feet tall and the generator was a giant

cylinder in the middle of the room. There was a pit of acid about thirty

feet around the generator. "I can't believe that Loud could be so smart to

build such a magnificent invention. Dude." the cop said. They checked the

rest of the basement and then gave up. "Fuck! I can't believe we can't

catch that asshat!" said one of the cops. They left the house. Lynn Sr. and

Hitler got out of the basement and went upstairs. "Mass chaos tonight!

The vile criminal known as Lynn Loud has escaped the reach of the law!

Police at the Loud residence failed to find Loud, and from testimony of

their neighbors, he hasn't left the house. Police are useless, though, so

it might take a week to find Loud if we're lucky. If you find Loud and turn

him into the police, you'll get $420,420.69." said the news guy. "Oh my

god, with the cops on Dad's trail, I'll never get a chance to legally kill Leni!

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK MY LIFE!" said Lisa. "Like, Lisa? Are you okay?" said

Leni. "GO THE FUCK AWAY, BITCH! GET YOUR WHORE ASS OUT OF MY

FUCKING FACE!" said Lisa. Leni ran away crying. "That's fucking it! I have

to end this NOW! Leni Loud has to die NOW! I don't fucking care if I get

life in prison, anything would be better than this hoe ruining my life!

Get ready, Leni Loud, and prepare for the worst!" said Lisa.

To Be Continued 


	7. Chapter 7: Leni vs Lisa

Chapter 7: Leni vs. Lisa

"Ugh! I need some fucking ideas, nigga! For Leni to die, I can't just

fucking run into her bedroom and slit her throat. I gotta have an awesome

plan. Wait, Lincoln has that Mario Maker thing, maybe that could help me!"

said Lisa as she went to Lincoln's room. "Bitch, what you want?" said

Lincoln. "I need Mario Maker to kill Leni." said Lisa. "Hell fucking no! I'm

trying to use it to kill our Jewish neighbors. But if you're looking to kill Leni,

go contact the crew on Cartoon Battle. It's like Death Battle, but for

cartoons. They record people fighting so they can see who would win in a

fight." said Lincoln. "But isn't Cartoon Fight Club made for that?" said Lisa.

"They just do meme battles now so they can make MLG parodies." said

Lincoln. "Fuck yes, that sounds awesome as fuck!" said Lisa. She went on

Gmail and emailed the Cartoon Battle guys. They said yes to Lisa and Leni

fighting. "Okay, so they say to wait a week for them to make the fight."

said Lisa. One week later, Lisa got Leni and checked her email. "Like, what

are you doing?" said Leni. "Oh, fucking nothing. You should see this video

made by Cartoon Battle." said Lisa. "Today's episode of Cartoon Battle is

something intense! It's a battle of brains vs. beauty, young vs. old, and,

in my opinion, mean vs. nice." said the announcer. "This was a request

from one of the competitors herself, so we got some hate on this stuff!

We have Leni Loud vs. Lisa Loud on Cartoon Battle! We'll be checking out

their speed, intelligence, power, and skills to see who would win in a fight

to the death! First, we'll look at Leni. For the stupid side, well, she's

not really strong at all. She's also really stupid, not knowing basic common

sense, and lack of knowledge of World War II caused her friends to

question her belief in the Holocaust. The only thing I can think of that Leni

has over Lisa is that she's really fashionable, and, in my opinion, really

sexy. But that doesn't mean shit in a fight to the death, so fuck it. Also,

while Lisa is better than Leni in almost every way possible, Leni is also

physically stronger than her since of their age difference. But still, my

money's on Lisa. And speaking of Lisa, she's very intelligent, obviously.

She always makes awesome inventions and has an IQ of 420,666. Also,

Lisa's very clever. She's watched enough people fighting to clock in about

69,666 hours of studying. Her small size allows her to fit into smaller

spaces and get around more quickly. However, on her own, Lisa sucks.

With her inventions, though, Lisa could most definitely kill Leni. Now, since

we've seen their strengths and weaknesses, let's FIGHT!" said the

announcer. Leni was in her bedroom when Lisa came into the room with

a knife. "Imma KILL YOU BITCH!" said Lisa. "FIGHT!" said the announcer.

Lisa ran back to her room and got a giant robot. Lisa shot some missiles

at Leni, but she ran away from them and threw a book at the robot. Lisa

used air boosting to crash through the ceiling and into the air, and then

used grappling fists to grab Leni. Then Lisa crashed into the basement,

and then deeper into the underground plantation. The shock from

destroying the metal ceiling released Leni. She ran away from Lisa. "FUCK!

GET YOUR BITCH ASS OVER HERE, WHORE!" said Lisa. She shot a rocket

at Leni, destroying the turning wall and killing some slaves. "Nigga! We're

free! Freedom at last! FREEDOM, NIGGA!" said the slave as the slaves

ran into the elevator and escaped. However, when the slaves escaped,

the cops who were waiting for a week to catch Lynn Sr. went in. They shot

warning shots, then went into the basement. Lynn Sr. was working on a

new gas to kill some more Jews. "Mein Fuhrer, why aren't you just fucking

making the gas?" said Lynn Sr. "Nigga, shut up!" said Hitler. Just then, Leni

ran past those two, away from Lisa. "That bitch Leni's here! I gotta kill

her to get my cash!" said Hitler. He ran towards Leni and got a gun. He

shot at Leni and tried to kill her. Lisa was running right next to him. "Why

the fuck are you trying to kill Leni NOW!?" said Lisa. "Bitch, please nigga!

I gotta get dat cash, yo!" said Hitler. Lisa kicked Hitler in the nut and ran

off. "FUCK! Well, at least I only have one fucking nut! Shit nigga!" said

Hitler. Just then, the cops came in. Lynn Sr. tried to hide behind the wall,

but the wall was destroyed by Lisa's missile earlier. "FUCK!" said Lynn Sr.

as the cops chased him and shot at him. He grabbed a pistol and shot at

the cops, killing two of them. While the cops stayed there to mourn their

dead comrades, Lynn Sr. ran off with his gun. Meanwhile, Lisa was chasing

Leni. "I'VE BEEN FUCKING WAITING TO KILL YOU FOR FOREVER! DIE!"

said Lisa as she shot Leni in the shoulder. Then Lisa dug her fingernails

into Leni's arms. Leni screamed really loudly. Then Lynn Sr. came in from

running from the cops. "LISA LOUD! STOP TRYING TO KILL YOUR SISTER

RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" said Lynn Sr. But the cops found him and shot at

him. "FUCK! ASS! SHIT! NIGGER!" said Lynn Sr. as the cops chased him

away. Lisa grabbed a pistol off the ground and tried to shoot Leni in the

head, but Lynn Sr. already used all the shots on the cops. "FUCK!" said

Lisa. Leni grabbed Lisa. "We're, like going back up! I can't stand fighting

my sister! I'm, like, not that kind of person!" said Leni. She thought she

was going to the elevator, but she went towards the electrical generator

room instead. The Louds' janitor, Mario, just cleaned the floor, so Leni

slipped and accidentally let go of Lisa. Lisa was flung into the pit of acid

and died. "Knockout!" said the announcer. "Well, that was unexpected.

It looks like the Louds' dad had to get into the action. But it seems like

being beautiful isn't Leni's only strength. Her stupidity actually saved her

in the end, since if Leni was more careful, both she and Lisa would walk

into the pit of acid and it would be a tie. While Lisa is intelligent, without

her machines, she's useless. The winner is Leni Loud. Oh, and we'd like

to give a special thanks to Lincoln Loud, who provided the real life Mario

maker engine we used to film this." said the announcer. "FUUUUUUUUUU

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! FUCK! ASS! SHIT! NIGGER! JEW!" said Lisa.

"So, who won?" said Lincoln. "LENI WON! THOSE FUCKING SONIC FANBOYS

DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW TO MAKE A MOTHERFUCKING BATTLE! FUCK!

FUCK!" said Lisa. "Well, I actually knew who won, since they used my

Mario Maker engine to get as close to our house as possible and as close

to the characters as possible without using real people." said Lincoln.

"What the fuck ever, this is bullfuck! I can't even get to see Leni die in

a video of us fighting. I thought they made people fight in REAL LIFE!"

said Lisa. "Well, it technically was in real life, it was real life Mario Maker."

said Lincoln. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!" said Lisa.

To Be Continued. 


	8. Chapter 8: Lisa Kills Leni

Chapter 8: Lisa Kills Leni

" _ **THAT'S FUCKING IT! I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF LENI FUCKING LOUD!**_

 _ **THAT WHORE DIES TODAY! IMMA JUST GO INTO THAT BITCH'S BEDROOM**_

 _ **AND SLIT HER FUCKING THROAT! FUCKING DIE, LENI LOUD!**_" said Lisa.

Lisa got a box and filled it with a knife, a chainsaw, a gun, an assault rifle,

some grenades, some ammo, a skin peeler, and some weed. Then Lisa

went into Lori and Leni's room. Leni was sitting on her bed alone. "Leni,

want to play? I have some toys in this box." said Lisa. "Oh, TOYS!? OH

YAY! I WANNA PLAY BLOCKS!" said Leni. When Leni walked over, Lisa

grabbed the knife and stabbed Leni in her eyes. Blood sprayed from her

eyes and all over the floor. " **HOLY _FUCKING_ SHIT LISA! _MY EYES_! _MY_**

 ** _MOTHERFUCKING EYES!_ _FUCK_! _FUCK_! _SHIT_! _FUCK_ YOU! I'M GOING**

 **TO _FUCKING_ _DIE_ HERE! _FUCK_!** " said Leni. Lisa then shot Leni in the

shoulder and then her leg. Leni screamed like a baby girl through all of it.

Then Lisa used the skin peeler to peel Leni's skin off. She started with

Leni's face. After getting rid of Leni's face skin, Lisa held up a mirror for

Leni. " **WHAT THE _FUCK_ BITCH!? I'M FUCKING _UGLY_ AS HELL! BITCH**

 **PLEASE! FUCKING _STOP_!** " said Leni. Leni was in so much pain that

she couldn't think. Then Lisa peeled the rest of her skin off. Then Lisa got

a pump like Dig Dug and inserted it into Leni's butthole. She inflated Leni

so much that she exploded, tossing blood and guts everywhere. The whole

room was drenched in blood and covered in guts. Lisa took a bath to rinse

off the blood and then cleaned up the room in about five minutes. Then

Lisa took Leni's skull and hung it up on her shelf. " _ **FUCK YES! FINALLY!**_

 _ **LENI MOTHERFUCKING LOUD IS FUCKING DEAD AS SHIT! YEAHHHH! YEA!**_

 _ **FUCKING FINALLY! FUUCK YESSS! FUCK!**_ " said Lisa. "Like, hey Lisa!"

said Leni as she passed by Lisa's room. "Oh, hi Leni. Wait, _**WHAT**_!?

 _ **LENI!? LOUD!?**_

 **I FUCKING KILLED YOU!** " said Lisa to Leni. "Oh yeah! I had a clone of

me! You were, like, SO nice to have that clone do my homework!" said Leni.

"Wait, so the Leni I killed was a _**CLONE**_!?

 _ **FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**_

 _ **UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**_

 _ **UUUUUUCK!**_ " said Lisa. "So, what was all that about killing me?" said

Leni. " **FUCKING FINE! I ADMIT IT! AFTER BREAKING MY _MOTHERFUCKING_**

 **TIME MACHINE, I TRIED TO KILL YOU! BUT NOTHING _FUCKING_ WORKED!**

 **SO I FUCKING WENT INTO YOUR ROOM AND _FUCKING KILLED_ _YOU_! YOU**

 **FUCKING _DIED_! BUT SINCE IT WAS A CLONE, IT MEANT ABSOLUTELY**

 **FUCKING NOTHING! _FUCK_! _YOU_! _LEN_ _I_! _LOUD_! I DON'T _FUCKING_**

 **CARE ABOUT GOING TO FUCKING _JAIL_ NOW! ANYTHING WOULD BE**

 **MOTHERFUCKING BETTER THAN LIVING THE REST OF MY _FUCKING LIFE_ WITH**

 **THIS _GAY ASS NIGGER JEW ANUSLICKING WHOREFUCKING COCKSUCKING_**

 ** _MOTHERFUCKING CUNTLICKING BITCHFUCKING WHORE ASS NIGGER_!** "

said Lisa. "Okay, but I'm still telling Dad!" said Leni. Leni ran to Lynn Sr. and

told him the whole story. " _ **LISA! YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD AS SHIT! IMMA**_

 _ **FUCKING KILL YOUR WHORE BITCH ASS!**_ " said Lynn Sr. He grabbed a

pistol and shot Lisa in her arms, legs, shoulders, and knees. " ** _YOU'RE_**

 ** _FUCKING GROUNDED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! EVEN WHEN YOU'RE_**

 ** _A FUCKING ADULT! EVEN WHEN YOU'RE AN OLD ASS LADY! AND YOU'RE_**

 ** _GONNA SLEEP IN THE FUCKING CLOSET FROM NOW FUCKING ON! AND_**

 ** _IMMA BEAT YOU EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR_**

 ** _FUCKING LIFE! AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TALK, INTERACT, TEXT,_**

 ** _OR EVEN LOOK AT LENI AGAIN! GO TO YOUR ROOM WHICH IS NOW THE_**

 ** _FUCKING SHED IN THE BACKYARD!_** " screamed Lynn Sr. Then he licked

Leni very sexually and locked the door. "Since Lisa's been causing you pain,

I'll pleasure you for a bit." said Lynn Sr. Lisa was depressed as hell. "FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK _**FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**_

 _ **UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**_

 _ **UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**_

 _ **UUUUUUCK!**_ **FUCK MY _FUCKING_ LIFE! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!**

 ** _ASS_! _SHIT_! _NIGGER_! _CUNT_! _TITS_! _JEW_! _HEIL HITLER_! _FUCK_!** " said

Lisa. Lisa grabbed a pistol on the ground and shot herself in the head.

Meanwhile in the bunker underneath the house, Hitler was creating an

army of Nazi soldiers. "The age of Democratic retarded Jewish leadership

in the world is over! We will abolish all of these retarded laws! We will rule

the world! And when we eliminate all inferior races from the world, I will

personally send military orders to conquer other planets! We will become

a galactic empire!" said Hitler. The Nazi tanks, bombers, fighters, and

nukes were shipped into Berlin. The fight only lasted a minute until Hitler

won. "I hereby re-establish the Nazi empire of Germany! We will use all of

our power to eliminate all inferior races from the earth! And when we win,

when we conquer the entire world, I will finally get a fucking girlfriend!"

said Hitler.

To Be Continued in Lincoln the President.


End file.
